THIS IS SOMETHING I DO TO KEEP MYSELF ENTERTAINED. I PRACTICE VARIOUS ACCENTS AND BAD RACIST IMPRESSIONS. THEN I SHOW UP TO THE FIGHTER'S MEETINGS AND HIDE.

I DO THIS WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND CSAC REFFEREE JASON HERZOG AKA "THE LAW" IS REFFING. I BASICALLY WAIT TILL HE EXPLAINS NO FISH-HOOKING AND I HIDE IN THE CROWD

AND SAY "WHAT'S THAT?"

AS HE STARTS TO EXPLAIN ABOUT HOW IT THE STICKING OF THE FINGER INTO VARIOUS ORIFFICES...I WAIT TILL HE'S NEARLY WRAPPED UP AND I QUICKLY ASK IN WHATEVER ACCENT "YES, IS THE THUMB A FINGER?"

I KNOW ONLY I THINK IT'S FUNNY. HE GIVES THE CROWD THE DIRTIEST LOOK.

WHEN I SIT AND THINK ABOUT THE THINGS I'VE DONE TO GIRLS IN THE PAST IT IS NO SURPRISE THAT I HAD SO MUCH "BAD LUCK".

I MEAN I'VE LIED, CHEATED, AND I OWE GIRLS SO MUCH MONEY THAT I HAD TO DELETE MY MYSPACE A FEW YEARS AGO.

I ONCE LEAD A REALLY CRAZY LIFE.

NOW I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR FIVE YEARS AND I LIVE MY LIFE AS A SOLID CONTRIBUTING MEMBER OF SOCIETY.

DUDE OF COURSE THE UNIVERSE CAME TO COLLECT IT'S DUE......I HAVE BEEN A TOTAL DOUCHE.

I HAVE DECIDED THIS YEAR TO TRACK DOWN EVERY CHICH I EVER WRONGED AND PLAN TO APOLOGIZE, PAY BACK FINANCIALLY, OR LET KICK ME IN THE GROIN.

IT WILL BE A TOUGH FEW YEARS BUT HOPEFULLY IT WILL CURE ME FROM MY SOUL-CANCER.

WISH ME LUCK.

I WANT TO START WITH A COUPLE THINGS I WROTE THAT I HOPE YOU WILL OPT TO QUOTE SOMETIME.

"MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUALLY SELFISH AND LONELY. IN FACT, WE ARE SO SELFISH...WE CANNOT ADMIT HOW LONELY WE ARE."

"MY MOM USED TO SAY "YOU CAN CATCH MORE FLIES WITH HONEY THAN WITH VINEGAR" IN RESPONSE I SAY "TRY USING TURD..YOU'LL GET MORE FLIES THAN YOU CAN HANDLE."

NOW A STORY ABOUT KARMA.....

BACK IN 2000 I DATED THIS GIRL WHO WAS ONE OF THOSE ACTOR/MODEL TYPES.

AFTER ABOUT A YEAR OF CO-HABITATION WE OR RATHER SHE DECIDED WE HAD TAKEN IT AS FAR AS IT COULD GO.

THIS CAME AT THE END OF A PRETTY TOUGH WEEK FOR ME AND IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

LET ME SET THE TONE...I HAD LOST MY JOB THAT DAY , AS I COME FROM THE MEETING FINDING OUT I WAS FIRED MY CAR HAD BEEN TICKETED FOR AN EXPIRED METER, AND EARLIER IN THE WEEK I HAD DISCOVERED MY GRANDMOTHER WAS ON HER DEATHBED.

WHEN I GOT OFF WORK I EXPLAINED THE SITUATION AND SHE SAID "WOW. THAT'S SUCKS....YOU'D BETTER SIT DOWN, YOUR NOT GONNA LIKE THIS EITHER."

DUN, DUN, DUUUUUN.

"FUCK THIS" I THOUGHT. "I WILL KEEP A STIFF UPPER LIP AND NOT GIVE THIS BITCH THE SATISFACTION OF SEEING ME CRY."

AS I WALKED OUT THE DOOR SHE ASKED "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

"TO MY PARENTS HOUSE."

SHE SAID " I THOUGHT WE COULD STILL SLEEP TOGETHER".

MAN THAT WAS ROUGH. BECAUSE AT THAT TIME I FELT LIKE IT WOULDN'T BE ENOUGH FOR ME.

SO.. OK. I WILL BE THE FIRST TO ADMIT I DIDN'T TAKE IT WELL.

LATER I CAME TO FIND OUT SHE HAD BEGUN SEEING ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS/CO-WORKERS(WHO WAS MARRIED AT THE TIME AND HAD A NEWBORN).

I WAS SO TORN UP ABOUT THIS SITUATION THAT IT SENT ME INTO A TAIL SPIN.

THE NEXT THING I KNEW I WAS GETTING INVOLVED WITH ALL KINDS OF GNARLY BEHAVIOR. I WON'T GET TOO MUCH INTO THAT STUFF AT THIS TIME.

I DECIDED I NEEDED TO SLOW DOWN AND GET PERSPECTIVE.

I DECIDED TO NOT HAVE SEX FOR A WHILE BECAUSE I DECIDED THAT I WAS AT POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE MY LIFE WAS SO F'D UP THAT I COULD ONLY F-UP THE LIVES OF THE GIRLS I WAS THEN DATING.

SEX CLOUDED MY JUDGEMENT SO I STOPPED IT. I STOPPED HURTING PEOPLE, I STOPPED HURTING MY SELF. SEX AND SEX OFFERED TO ME WAS HOW I DECIDED TO JUDGE HOW I FELT ABOUT MYSELF. THIS IDEA WAS SO FLAWED.

THIS IS THE TIME IN MY LIFE THAT I LEARNED THAT WE CAN'T DECIDE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO. WE CAN'T FORCE THEM TO FEEL ANY CERTAIN WAY. ALL WE CAN DO IS DECIDE HOW WE ARE GOING TO REACT TO IT.

IN OUR LIVES WE CAN ONLY CONTROL WHAT WE DO. ONLY WE CAN DECIDE HOW WE FEEL. IT WAS TIME TO LET GO OF THIS STUPID ANAMOSITY BECAUSE IT WAS HOLDING ME BACK FROM LIVING WELL.

NOW...FAR REMOVED FROM "ME THEN", FROM THE SITUATION, FROM MY OWN IGNORANCE, I FEEL EMOTIONALLY SMALL AND PLAIN STUPID.

LATER IN LIFE YOU JUST WISH SOMEONE WOULD BE AS HONEST WITH YOU AS SHE WAS WITH ME THEN.

SURE, IT HURT AT THE TIME, AND IF I WASN'T SO F'ING STUPID AT THE TIME I WOULD HAVE JUST MOVED ON WITHOUT HURTING SO MANY OF THOSE WHO WOULD FOLLOW HER.

HINDSITE OF COURSE IS 20/20.

WHEN I GOT MARRIED 5 YEARS AGO I INVTED THEM TO MY WEDDING NO HARD FEELINGS.

LATER I HEARD THROUGH A FRIEND THAT WE ALL HAD IN-COMMON THAT THE GUY (WHO WAS MY FRIEND) HAD GONE UP TO HER PLACE IN LA.

WHILE HE WAS CLEANING HER APARTMENT (LOL) HE FOUND SEVERAL USED CONDOMS IN HER BEDSIDE TRASH CAN. HE DID NOT TAKE IT WELL.

AT FIRST I LAUGHED...AND THEN I FELT BAD ABOUT LAUGHING BECAUSE I FEEL THAT I AM BETTER THAN THAT.

NOW-A-DAYS HE WORKS A LAME JOB AND HAS TO TAKE ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES AND SHE IS STILL TRYING TO ACTRESS/MODEL. THERE WAS MORE TO THIS STORY AND AFTER HAVING WRITTEN IT I FELT LIKE I WAS JUST TRYING TO KICK THEM WHEN THEY WERE DOWN. THAT AIN'T ME!

A FRIEND OF A FRIEND HIP ME TO THIS DIET WHICH IS MAINLY BROWN RICE I DID NT NOTICE THE RESULTS UNTIL I LOOKED AT THE MEMORIAL DAY PIX. HERE IS A BEFORE AND AFTER. 30 LBS, DROP!

MOST SPONSORS WON'T DO THIS BUT OUR SPONSOR KABAGE IS BADASS!

THE OWNER RUEBEN HAS BEGUN MAKING ME GEAR THAT MATCHES MY VARIOUS COOL PAIRS OF SHOES!!!!

ON MY WAY TO WORK ONE NITE I HEARD  RADIO SPOT FOR A&W AND SUNKIST FLOATS.

 THE AD SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU LOVE ABOUT FLOATS ..IN A BOTTLE.

I LOVE ICE CREAM FLOATS. SO, I'M THINKING I'M ALL IN.

I GO TO A 7-11 AND LONG- STORY -SHORT YUCK!

EVERYTHING YOU LOVE ABOUT A FLOAT?

ONLY IF THE PART YOU LOVE ABOUT FLOATS IS THE BACKWASHY-FLAT SODA PART.

SO PLEASE TAKE IT FROM UNCLE MANNY

THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO HAVE A FLOAT 2 SCOOPS VANILLA+ ROOT BEER, ORANGE SODA, OR HAWAIIAN PUNCH IN A TALL GLASS.

DRINKABLE ONLY THROUGH A STRAW!